Ask, and ye shall receive…

by | Dec 30, 2019 | Blog

When I was 18, someone gave me a copy of Robert Kiyosaki’s book ‘Rich Dad Poor Dad’. 

At that age, I wasn’t savvy enough to benefit from every concept, but one line in particular really stuck with me.

He said (essentially), ‘Saying you can’t afford it is just laziness. What you’re really saying is ‘I can’t be bothered trying to figure out how I could.’

Confronting, hey.

I still giggle thinking about the amount of hate-mail he must’ve gotten for that perspective. 

Anyone with a pain point around money will immediately feel ‘some kinda way’ about the truth of that statement and likely rattle off a bunch of ego-fodder, like:

‘Sure, but I REALLY can’t afford it’

‘He doesn’t understand – he’s rich’

‘No-one understands how hard it is for ME’

‘I’m already doing everything I can and nothing’s working’

‘If the money’s not there it’s just not there…’

‘That’s just how it is, I can’t change it’

‘If I knew how to change it I would’. 

But if any of that were true, there’d be no such thing as a ‘rags to riches’ story, and there are bajillions. 

Q: So where’s the hiccup…?

A: Between your ego and your mouth.

The ego is essentially a protective layer. But it ‘protects’ you by preventing change.

So anytime you’re about to do something new or different, you’ll get a kickback. 

‘You can’t.’

‘It won’t work.’

‘There’s no market for it.’

‘It’s already been done.’

‘You’re not good enough.’

The people who succeed still have an ego. They still have this voice. 

They just don’t pretend it’s God. 

How? You ask…

They interrupt the flow from ego to mouth, with brain… 

Ego: ‘You can’t.’

Brain: ‘But if I had to. If it was critical… What would I try…?’

Mouth: ‘What if… maybe I could… would you accept… could we try… How about…’

And it is in all of those suggestions, full of hope and possibility, that change is made.

In my years of coaching, I’ve had hundreds of yeses, and some nos.

Not all of the yeses were straightforward.

‘Do you have a payment plan?’ Yes.

‘Do you accept credit cards?’ Yes

‘Can I make a deposit to hold my spot but delay my start date?’ Yes. 

‘If my friend / spouse signs up too is there a bulk discount?’ Yes.

‘Can I pay half now and half next week?’ Yes.

‘Can I just set up an auto payment to you rather than being invoiced?’ Yes.

‘Could I speak with your other clients first?’ Yes.

‘Can I credit those sessions toward a contract?’ Yes.

‘Can we delay my start date until my tax return comes in?’ Yes.

‘Can we use the rest of my discovery call to coach me through my investment fear?’ Yes.

‘Were you scared the first time you took a leap of faith? Can you tell me how you got through it?’ Yes.

I have so much respect for people who are committed to living their dreams, I don’t think I’ve ever said no to a genuine request. 

What’s crazy to me is, none of the people who said ‘no’ based on the price, ever. asked. a. single. question. 

They didn’t ask for payment options.

They didn’t ask for testimonials.

They didn’t ask about invoice dates or bulk discounts or delayed starts. 

They didn’t ask to see the terms and conditions.

They didn’t want to know who the other participants in the program were.

When I offered a mastermind deal giving people TWO coaches for less than the price of one… none of the people that declined even asked who the other coach was…

When we’re speaking from fear, it’s just a no. 

Not a how, not a when, not a ‘why not me?!’

Just a no. 

So I’m curious – where in your life have you defaulted to a ‘no’ without examining the possibilities? 

Where have you acted as though your ego was God, and given it all your power?

What have you missed out on, because of all the times you ran the ‘I can’t afford it’ script, without wondering or asking how you could? 

Where have you let there be more no’s in your life than yeses?