It’s in your blind spot…

It’s in your blind spot…

I felt the bird was adorable and the caption mimicked the subject line.

Hope you don’t mind – I freakin’ LOVE memes…;)

So anyway…

I was talking to one of my clients today, who happens to be a phenomenal coach herself, and she talked about the benefits of reflecting back to people what’s hidden in their blindspot.

It’s such an underrated skill because what people generally don’t realize is, all their assessments about themselves, their lives, their possibilities, and what’s ‘realistic’ are limited to the parameters of what their brain is willing to let past the filters.

So I thought it might be worth breaking down in this week’s blog.

Something everyone needs to understand is that trusting your eyes and ears alone is a dangerously limited stance.

I say that because it isn’t actually the eyes that see and the ears that hear. They are conduits for electrical data, but once that data is in your brain it gets distorted to fit your Models of Reality (MOR).

(You may have seen me speak on Lives and in previous blogs about upgrading or changing your MORs in order to make sustainable change in your life).

The old saying ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ is actually biologically impossible, because you can’t actually see anything you don’t already believe is possible, and what you believe is possible is inevitably based on things you’ve seen before (the past).

So if you’re relying on what you can physically see and hear right now, you’re basically saying ‘I’m only prepared to repeat the past.’

This is why many people complain about how they’re stuck in ‘Groundhog Day’ even though they’ve been ‘manifesting like crazy’.

It’s very true that they’ve been ‘manifesting like crazy’ because our entire projected reality is a manifestation of our own making.

But if you don’t change the MORs, you’re going to keep bringing in the same stuff.

When you open up your mind to the reality of what you’re trying to create, you can start to see the evidence that it’s shifting into place. That gives you the excitement and inspiration to keep going (even when it’s scary), and allows you to shift your beliefs and your emotional state even more rapidly.

So this is all great.. but you’re probably wondering how you can expand the parameters of your mind to start letting in a different reality, yes?

Here are some steps you can take:

  1. You need to know what MORs you’re operating within. Since they’re generally buried in psychological blindspots (we are survival-oriented creatures and survival requires sticking to what’s familiar and therefore ‘safe’) this requires external support. Hire a coach.

  2. Start to get comfortable with the idea that your vision is limited to what your brain will let you see. If you’ve felt resistance to new ideas in the past (E.g. the idea that money can be easy and simple to receive) take some time to explore that. Journal out your narrative and feel into the discomfort – it won’t kill you.

  3. Become cognizant of the language you’re using each day. Your words are instructions and your brain is paying attention. Check how often you’re using self-hypnotizing phrases like ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I can’t’ or ‘that’s not realistic’ and consider that commanding your brain to comply with such limitations may be doing you more harm than good.

I hope that served! As per usual, I’d love to see you sharing your wins and realizations on social media – follow me at the links below and tag me in what you’re creating so I can cheer you on!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SarahReillyCoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahreillycoaching

Twitter: https://twitter.com/reillysa

Why is this STILL coming up?!

Why is this STILL coming up?!

Have you ever gone over an issue with your coach or therapist, only to have the pain or the pattern resurface later on from a different trigger?

How did you feel?

If you were anything like most people I talk to, you felt frustrated and disappointed. Frustrated because you thought you had ‘dealt with that already’ and disappointed because you now realize it hasn’t actually been eradicated.

Today I want to give you some clarity on this.

I’ve heard many clients say that they were advised that the deep work to uncover the pattern was ‘the hardest part’. This is meant in the moment to encourage and reassure them, but all it really does is confuse ‘the work’ with what I call ‘the theatrics’ of coaching. 😉

The initial breakthrough is an event, for sure. It’s amazing to be able to see your whole life as one big and nuanced, clear and predictable response. It feels euphoric to suddenly realize that the world is (and has always been) responding to your commands and that everything you want to have, be and do is now possible and available.

BUT… that’s not actually ‘the work’.

The door is now open, but you haven’t yet walked through it.

Neural repatterning requires that you make different choices throughout your day. The only way to make real change is to create and cement new neural pathways, and that’s done by coming off autopilot and choosing in alignment with the new identity and the desired outcome.

And that takes support. Because it can be difficult, uncomfortable, and occasionally scary in the moment.

The breakthrough isn’t the work – the breakthrough is the key that opens the door to your work.

So if you did a couple of sessions with a coach that one time, and you felt like you got amazing clarity but didn’t stay with the longer term accountability and support required to actually cement the changes, I want you to put 2 and 2 together on this right now…

The value is not in the moment of clarity… the value is in what you do with it, now that you’re able to make conscious choices rather than being run by the subconscious programs…

(Incidentally, this is why coaches don’t work by session – we work by package. Because the breakthrough is the first part, but the support through the repatterning process is the kicker.)

SO…If the pattern is coming up for you, that means that the original neural pathway is still active. If it’s still active, still the default setting, then 2 things aren’t complete yet:

1. the new pathway hasn’t been created/cemented.

2. the old pathway is still being used and therefore hasn’t pruned apart.

Achieving that requires conscious, consistent and committed decisions in the direction of your dreams.

And that can’t be done on your own. That needs support, oversight, strategy, accountability, and a container that ensures you never let it fall by the wayside.

If you’re ready for that…Let’s talk. S’what I do. 🙂

Affirmations = losing battle

Affirmations = losing battle

I’m here this week with a little revelation that’s been landing well with my 1-1 clients of late, and that is why your daily affirmations may not be working as fast or as accurately (or at all…) as you’d like…

As much as I love context, analogy, and long-winded storytelling, this issue is pretty frustrating for people so I’m just going to get to the point: Your subconscious works harder than you.

Your childhood programming is like your ‘default setting’. It’s the autopilot your system runs on 24hrs a day…so if your default settings look anything like this:

– life is hard
– money is scarce
– you have to trade hours for money
– making more money means less time with family
– there’s no space for me
– my needs aren’t important
– something always goes wrong

…then taking a few minutes a day to repeat new beliefs (verbally, mentally or written) is barely going to make a dent.

95% of your day is handled by the subconscious. Therefore, interrupting your autopilot settings (and their associated scripts) will be vastly more effective than regular (but comparatively small) affirmation-interludes.

To clarify:
It’s your 10mins of affirmations, against your subconscious working to your old programming for the other 23hrs and 50mins a day.
No competition. Total knockout.

The subconscious mind is always working to make sure your world conforms to your stories, by deleting, distorting, and generalizing the data you receive from the environment. If you want ‘evidence of your new beliefs’ to show up…you have to commit to the belief FIRST…so that the brain will let the evidence past your filters.

E.g. if you want to see proof that you’re financially safe and supported, you have to believe it first.

Now, some of you might think that’s hard. But it’s not actually hard, it just requires a committed decision and a little determination.
If you’d like more info on this, simply download my free pdf on how to change beliefs from the resources page on my website.

So…

I said above that a better option would be to interrupt your autopilot settings as they happen, so that your subconscious doesn’t have such a massive lead.

Here’s how:

1. Recognize your more ‘unpleasant’ emotions as an indicator that you have an out-of-control narrative going on in your head. Ask yourself: ‘What am I making this mean?’ to find the story you’re telling and choose another. Pick something that helps you connect with an emotion that supports you and gets you into alignment with the life you want.

2. Check in with yourself throughout the day. Ask yourself how you’re feeling, and if you need anything. Be a good caretaker and get yourself what you need so that your system learns to trust you. A nervous system working from the idea that ‘I don’t get my needs met’ will always be some level of anxious or upset. Meet the needs = relieve the panic.

3. Keep a note of how you’re meeting your needs and seek to upgrade your methods over time. Small, incremental progress is perfectly fine. An example of an upgrade would be: If you currently deal with work stress by taking yourself to Starbucks for a Super Venti Mocha Choca Vodka Valium Vanilla Frappe with extra whip and four kinds of sprinkles…consider walking a little further to a different cafe so that you get more breathing, moving and sunshine time, and order something a little less inflammatory each day…

4. Consciously take on the idea that your autopilot settings (anger, fear, rejection, sugar…) are a PATTERN, they are not an IDENTITY. What I mean by that is to stop hiding behind identity-statements like ‘I have money issues’, ‘I am scared to leave my job’, ‘I have no luck with men’ and get familiar with the truth, which may be that you’ve decided not to stress about money, because the stress patterns didn’t create more income. You’ve decided to re-examine your old beliefs about jobs being the ‘safe’ option, and you’ve decided to focus on raising your standards for a partner so that you can feel excited about dating again.                                                               
5. Get help. A coach is there to see the aspects of your programming that are in your psychological blind spots. Invest in catching them NOW, so that they don’t keep derailing your amazing dreams for the future!

I hope that was helpful, as always, I love to hear what you thought so drop a comment or question anytime.

I don’t like weekends.

I don’t like weekends.

When I had a corporate job, I LIVED for the weekends. Every week was a painful countdown through:

Ew, Monday

Tuesday – Pointless Second Monday

Wednesday – Hump Day – getting there!

Thursday – Friday Eve…

and finally:

FRIDAY!!!!!

Then Saturday was pure joy, and Sunday was just ‘Depressing Pre-Monday’

Now that I am self-employed, weekdays are where all the excitement is!

I live in and work out of a wellness studio that is a huge converted church.

We have a myofascial release expert and spray tanner/beauty therapist, an energy healer, and a yoga shala that also handles functional movement, stretch therapy and feldenkrais

….And me, the resident life coach. ♥

I think we are trained from school to be ‘on’ Monday to Friday, and wind down at the weekends, which works great now, but if you’re in a job you hate it’s just so much more painful because you’re burning all your ‘up-time’ doing something you don’t care about, and when you finally get a couple days to yourself you crash, rather than working on moving your dreams forward.

During the week this place is a hive of activity and I love it. Weekdays are also the time I feel the most social; my calendar is full of fun things like 1-1 coaching clients, yoga classes, networking coffees, and sessions with my personal trainer.Everything is open so errands are a breeze, and the postal service is alive so I get parcels. 😀

But the weekend is quieter. There are only 3 yoga classes all weekend. No mail comes, the masseuse and the energy healer don’t work Sundays, and I tend to feel very ‘hibernatey’ after a big week.

I am, admittedly, very creative on Saturday afternoons. That’s when I write courses and e-books and blog posts. But I was never able to write on weekends when I had a 9-5 I hated…I was mentally and emotionally exhausted, and too much in ‘survival mode’ to attempt any expansion or thriving.

How does your week affect you? What are your on days and off days? Where are you out of sync with society? (e.g. I am home writing when everyone else is partying)

Drop me a reply and tell me about your current sitch. Bonus points if you can articulate the changes you want to make and by when!

PS If you’d prefer to answer on social media you can find me here:

Ever thought about it like this?

Ever thought about it like this?

So, I know that getting everything you want and need can be a bit of a sore spot for some people, and I have a different perspective on how I decide when to invest/move forward that I thought might help you.
 
I did a FB live about it recently – just a short one – you can view it here:
 

Hope you are having a fab week.

Best,

Sarah xo