When The Thinking Isn’t Working…

When The Thinking Isn’t Working…

When The Thinking Isn’t Working…

I’m finding that people’s responses to the idea of hiring a coach are pretty ‘end of the spectrum’ rather than ‘middle ground’ these days.

I’m noticing that the people I run into are either:

‘Oh absolutely – I’d never be without that kind of support. You think I’d take a risk on not having any of my dreams pan out? Are you HIGH?!’

or

‘Pay someone to help me live my dreams? Why would I do that? The only person that can change my life is ME.’

I’m gonna jam out on the second one for a bit.

I whole-heartedly believe that the only person who can physically enact the change is you. But it’s a bit hard to do that if you don’t know what the root cause of the problem is (because it’s buried in your subconscious) and you don’t know what to do, practically speaking (because you’ve never made a change of this size before) and you don’t have the resources and support to hand (because you haven’t hired a coach, yet).

When I ask people what they want, the vast majority start with ‘I don’t know.’

A bit of prodding gets them as far as ‘but it’s not realistic’ or ‘but I can’t do it yet’ or, ‘but I need more money.’

If any of those were objectively true, no-one would be out there changing the world right now. But they are.

If money was the decider, only rich people would be making a difference.

But they’re not.

If screeds of qualifications were necessary to get started, every successful person would have them. But they don’t.

If everyone had to wait until their kids were grown and gone to get started on a project, there would be no parent entrepreneurs. But there are tons.

If we could all only do ‘realistic’ things, we’d never do anything new. But we do. Every day someone breaks a record or invents something else or creates a new service.

Every. Single. Day. People are doing things you’re saying can’t be done.

Now, I know the voice in your head is very insistent and seems to be making a lot of sense. But the voice in your head isn’t you. And it’s not interested in helping you live your dreams. The ego exists to keep you in situations that you know how to navigate to increase your chances of survival.

But it’s 2019. No big animals are coming to eat you while you sleep. Change isn’t the threat anymore.

And I’m pretty sure mere survival isn’t your goal for this life.

So why listen to a voice that isn’t interested in you living your dreams, when you could be listening to me, instead…

And given how well the ego has worked as a business mentor up until now…  …do you think perhaps it might be time to try someone new?

Your best thinking got you this far. If where you are now isn’t where you want to be,

then that thinking isn’t working…

Try some new ideas. Be open to some new strategies. Consider some new perspectives. Take up some new offers.

Live the life of your dreams, not just the one you’ve settled for. ♥️

Check out my new ebook and start manifesting your dream life today.

Are You Over-Complicating It?

Are You Over-Complicating It?

Sometimes it’s really simple, guys.

Yes, you learned a lot of unhealthy sh*t growing up.

Yes, you didn’t always have the best role models.

Yes, a few beliefs made their way into your subconscious that aren’t necessarily helpful anymore.

But you know what’s true? Whatever you’re not changing, you’re choosing. 

All of the above issues truly come down to a decision and a follow-up action, though your ego would love for you to believe that it’s a lot more complicated than that. 

You have to decide you’re not going to run that script anymore.

You have to decide all the debilitatingly critical things you think about yourself aren’t actually true.

You have to decide you are worthy of whatever you need to live your dreams. 

And then you have to take an action that proves you decided. 

Go get what you need. Get the support, the resources, the help, the change you’ve been craving. 

And take an extremely skeptical eye to any part of you that immediately leaps up with an excuse about why you can’t, why you’re not ready, why it’s too hard, why you can’t afford it. 

Because we all have excuses, we all have reasons, we all have limiting beliefs and fears and barriers. 

Some push forward anyway. Why? Because regret hurts more than failure.

Failure doesn’t even have an objective definition. If you ‘fail’, you just try something else. 

But regret… regret isn’t so simple to pivot from.

Don’t wait for regret. Falling on your face is still a forward movement… 

Forever in your corner, 

Sarah

P.S. If changing your beliefs still feels like the hard part, you might like my pdf on how to change a belief. It’s free to download right here.

You’re Taking A Big Risk.

You’re Taking A Big Risk.

You’re Taking A Big Risk.

One of the most common things people say to me on a discovery call is ‘I don’t know.’

‘I just don’t know why I keep doing that! ‘I don’t know why I feel like this!?’

‘I don’t know why I feel like this!?’

‘I don’t know why it bothered me so much!’

‘I don’t know why I haven’t done it yet!’

So I thought I’d send out a freebie..

A free boot in the butt for anyone out there that needs it but doesn’t have a coach in their corner as yet.

So here it is. 

  1. You do know.
  2. Stop instructing your brain not to release the information.

You have to be very careful what you say, because you are listening. Telling yourself over and over again that you don’t know, or that you’re unsure, or that you’re not ready, or that you can’t, is all just self-hypnosis.

You repeat something enough times you’ll start to believe it, which you’ve proven with the ‘I don’t know’ script.

Isn’t it curious that we don’t generally apply this diligence and tenacity to installing new scripts like ‘I could definitely do that’ or ‘it’s safe to ask for support’ or ‘money is easy to come by’…?

Imagine what you could install if you used all the elevated emotion and conviction that you apply to ‘I don’t know’, to create a belief you would actually benefit from…

And more importantly, how much damage do you think it’s doing to have beliefs and models of reality running in the background that you’re either unaware of (because they were programmed in childhood) or debilitated by (because they’ve primed your nervous system to react to and repel everything you’re trying to call in – like money, opportunities or more visibility for your business)…?

And more importantly, how much damage do you think it’s doing to have beliefs and models of reality running in the background that you’re either unaware of (because they were programmed in childhood) or debilitated by (because they’ve primed your nervous system to react to and repel everything you’re trying to call in – like money, opportunities or more visibility for your business)…?

Not a lot of point spending all day hustlin’ n grindin’ to ‘put yourself out there’ if you’re self-sabotaging all the time with procrastination, confusion and overwhelm because your system has a link between visibility and danger…

If it feels like it might be time for a software upgrade, drop me a message.

You might be able to keep hitting ‘remind me tomorrow’ on your laptop updates, but people don’t have infinite tomorrows…

How Are You Coping?

How Are You Coping?

Psychologists say, ‘it’s not the trauma that’s the problem, it’s the coping mechanism’. And they’re right. 

It’s not a problem that someone hurt you 20 years ago; the problem is how you learned to act because of it. 

If you grew up with a mentally ill parent, you probably learned that nothing is safe or steady, that you need to be permanently on guard, that minor nuances in movement or speech precede psychotic episodes, that managing other people is your responsibility and that people can’t be trusted. All very accurate observations during your childhood, but once you moved out of home, did you choose new patterns? Unlikely. 

Almost all survival programming is in place by ten years old and the system doesn’t self-audit and update itself when you change locations. How this may become a problem, is when you try to apply the new beliefs and associated coping mechanisms to new situations. 

It hurts a romantic relationship to treat a partner like they’re volatile or a chore.

It hurts friendships to be codependent and resentful.

Where are you seeing old lessons, old beliefs and old patterns getting in the way of your ideal life?

Reach out to me about it – I’d love to support you in getting rid of those old blocks. 

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Just because we believe something, doesn’t automatically make it an absolute truth. Just because something looks or feels right to us, doesn’t denote factual accuracy. Just because we think we have ‘evidence’ for something being a certain way in our lives, doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone.

And here’s why:

The human nervous system is survival-oriented, and a lot of what was designed to keep us alive in caveman times is still present today. Seeking safety via familiarity, risk-averse behavior, categorizing, danger-scanning and ingratiating ourselves with our tribe members are just a few examples. Unfortunately, prioritizing happiness and fulfillment is not on that list. Extended periods of happiness are typically perceived as a vulnerable state. Think of it this way, if you’re sitting on a log by a big beautiful bonfire, listening to some drum beats and happily chewing away on a piece of fruit, you’re chill. You’re happy. You’re in the present moment. What are you not doing? Noticing the tiger creeping up on you.

Out in the wild, spotting the problem before it spots you is integral to your survival. In a townhouse in suburbia, conceiving of a potential future problem in order to avoid it generally makes no sense.

‘But what if the car breaks down?’

‘Has it?’

‘Well no, but if it does, I won’t have the money to hand to pay for it!’

Cue: Massive stress response, no ability to fight or flee the issue, all the health problems associated with cortisol AND you’ve poured a bunch of focused attention into a potential reality where your car breaks down, energetically increasing its likelihood.

So where did we get the idea that postulating things we don’t want to happen is the ‘smart’, ‘adult’ and ‘responsible’ thing to do?

Speaking generally, from our parents. They worried, they stressed, they fretted, and they made comments like ‘I don’t know what we’re going to do when that electricity bill comes in’, ‘that jacket is going to have to last you at least another year’, ‘we have to keep that money aside in case XYZ happens.’

Your survival tactic of ingratiating yourself with your tribe means you likely adopted a lot of these beliefs. But if your tribe wasn’t living the life of their dreams, you can safely assume those beliefs aren’t necessarily helpful.

So, who are you still ‘copying’ that might not be the best role model for what you’re trying to achieve today? Drop it in the comments and feel free to reach out to me about this on social media.

Why Buy The Cow?

Why Buy The Cow?

Why Buy The Cow?

As James Wedmore says, ‘the transformation is in the transaction.’

The impact of hiring a coach is catalyzed and launched by the shift in energy that occurs when you finally choose to invest in yourself.

Until you decide that you are worth investing in, no-one else will invest in you.

Until you decide that you are worth support, resources and everything else you need… no-one else will provide them, and even if they try – you won’t fully receive and utilize it.

Until you decide that you and your mission warrants the expenditure, no-one else is going to risk their money on you…

Have you ever noticed that reading a lot of self-help books and absorbing a lot of free content doesn’t seem to be translating to business growth, account growth, relationship change, etc in your real, tangible life?

 

THERE ARE A FEW REASONS FOR THAT:

1. No skin in the game.
If there are no consequences to inaction, your survival wiring is going to prioritize inaction. Survival doesn’t allow for risk-taking, and ultimate (perceived) safety requires ultimate familiarity. Unfortunately, that comes as a package deal with Ultimate Regret.

If there are no consequences to inaction, your survival wiring is going to prioritize inaction. Survival doesn’t allow for risk-taking, and ultimate (perceived) safety requires ultimate familiarity. Unfortunately, that comes as a package deal with Ultimate Regret.

Downside: No changes by you = no changes for you.

2. Emotional buy-in and financial buy-in are intimately linked.
Large expenses stay front-of-mind because we are trained to link money with survival. Make a big investment = pay big attention = make big changes = see big results.

Downside: The safe option often looks like the cheap option which gets commensurate results. Go big or go home, is my advice.

3. Books and free content are read/handled by the conscious mind, and that’s not where the problems are.
If it was simply a matter of conscious choices, you would’ve made different ones already.

Downside: Easier said than done. But it’s a lot easier done when you have support, illumination of psychological blind spots, strategy, accountability and a calmer nervous system to calibrate to. Ipso facto: Get a coach.

How else have you noticed that simply reading motivational quotes and absorbing public material doesn’t work for you? I’d love for you to drop your experience with and without personalized support in the comments so that everyone can learn 🙂