You Mad?

You Mad?

You Mad?

So, here’s a thing many people don’t realize until I point it out.

Coaches have you on a video call so that we can monitor physiological congruence and check that your micro-expressions confirm what you’re telling us.

Being deception-trained isn’t there to ‘catch you out’, it’s for us to make sure we don’t miss anything you may need to express or confront.

The most fun tells for me are contempt and disgust, because it helps me find your shadow long before we start doing shadow-work. A head-start in that space is phenomenal for speed of change.

But I’m starting to think the most healing for the client is catching unexpressed anger.

 

And here’s why.

People simply don’t realize how mad their system is that they keep throwing themselves under the bus.

That ‘yes’ that should’ve been a ‘no’?
Cancelling that thing you wanted, to do something for someone else?
That compromise you shouldn’t have had to make?
That ‘I can’t’ that should’ve been an ‘I’ll find a way?’
That box of wine that should’ve been a gym session?
That ‘I’ll finish it this week’ that should’ve been a ‘that’s not my job’.

Self-betrayal is so much more damaging than any amount of crankiness you can get from other people. Your system is screaming at you but you’re too busy chasing other people down to find out how else you could help them.

If I could put one thing on a global billboard today it would be this:

WE TRAIN PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US;
STOP FORSAKING YOURSELF.

Stop using other people’s dramas to distract yourself from what you know you need.

Stop saying yes to 5hit you don’t wanna do.

Stop forcing greasy plasticky BS down your neck when your body is screaming for nutrition.

Stop putting yourself LAST all the time.

And stop telling yourself you’re not angry when you’re ducking furious that you pushed aside your own needs AGAIN.

If you need help processing or practicing, I’m right here: www.sarahreillycoaching.com

You Know What Your Problem Is?

You Know What Your Problem Is?

‘The problem is: You think you have time…’

~ Jack Kornfield

 

When I quit my corporate career in back in 2016, it actually wasn’t to launch my coaching business. 

Not because I didn’t want to be a coach… I’d been training to coach and daydreaming about coaching and wishing it was possible for me for about 14 years by then. 

 

I just didn’t know it was an option, because I hadn’t deprogrammed the specific Survival Meaning that was crushing that dream. 

 

So why did I quit?

 

Because I was already in my 30s, and I hadn’t ticked a single thing off my (real) bucket list.

 

Sure, I’d done a few fun things in my time – backpacked around various parts of the world, worked hilarious jobs, flown a stunt plane, yada, yada, yada…

But the REAL bucket list? That had the big stuff on it.

 

Publish a novel.

Travel the world with no budget and no time restraints.

Live in a ski resort so I could snowboard every day.

Be my own boss.

Stop hating and bullying myself.

 

All stuff I didn’t believe was possible, and had no idea how to do, but was terrified of dying without achieving. 

 

My theory at the time was ‘You can’t get to a happy destination on an unhappy journey’, so even if I lost everything in the pursuit, it was still a better outcome than guaranteeing failure by staying in a job I hated, in a country I didn’t want to be in, and slowly growing tumours from the stress of my awful choices.

 

So, the real reason I finally leapt was because I didn’t perceive any other way out. 

I reasoned: ‘If I spend all my savings doing things I actually love, maybe my health and focus will improve to the point where I can find a way to survive that doesn’t make me sick.’

 

Pretty low standard, hey. 

 

True story: the day after I quit, I saw an ad for a writer’s retreat in Bali. They promised military-grade support to ensure you completed the first draft of your novel in under a month. It cost a third of everything I had to my name to be there, but everything in my body screamed ‘this is the next step.’

 

I panicked, I asked everyone I could find permission (and some were seriously against it), I negotiated, I paced, I talked myself in and out of it, I laid awake at night over it. I was nauseated by it. 

 

But I did it. And you know what that retreat got me?

 

A completed novel.

A phenomenal mentor.

My deepest bullets extracted.

A successful coaching business.

A view into a world I never realized existed.

Ongoing support.

Incredible friends. 

Once in a lifetime experiences.

And I lost a fight with a monkey.

 

Worth it? 

 

YOU DUCKING BET.

 

(Even the fight – the monkey only got away with my water bottle and the bite didn’t get infected.)

 

Here’s the point.

 

You might live to be a hundred. 

Or this year might be your last.

 

I don’t know. You don’t know. Nobody knows.

 

So, what’s on your REAL bucket list?

 

What will you be so goddamn gutted you missed out on if you are outta time?

What dreams have you suppressed, written off, given up on, let go of, that if you’re honest – are still a splinter in your brain?

 

Because it’s all possible. 

It was always possible.

You just got distracted by your autopilot taking you through a series of familiar life-tasks.

 

You know we can change the programming, right?

You know none of your traits or habits or other coping mechanisms are permanent, right?

You know the science doesn’t even support the concept of ‘personality’… RIGHT?

 

If you only remember one thing from this piece of writing, let it be this:

Just because you don’t currently know how to do it, doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

 

It can all be done, and if you want 1-1 support to do it, click here to apply for coaching with me.

 

If you know you have limiting beliefs that are preventing you getting the resources you need, download my free PDF on how to change those beliefs here.

 

If you need to manifest more resources, download my course ‘Practical Manifestation’ here.

 

And if you wanna engage with me on social media, find me here:

How’s Your Waxer?

How’s Your Waxer?

How’s Your Waxer?

This past week I received an application for coaching. After some discussion, I sent the person a booking link to choose a time for a discovery call (this is a complimentary coaching session where we do some digging into what the underlying issues are and what it would take to get the person where they’re trying to go).

The applicant was displeased to see that I don’t have any available times until March (as I write this, it’s the middle of January). They decided they would forego the call, and try to find a coach who was available sooner.

Now, this isn’t a problem for me. I have been operating a model of reality for some time that essentially says ‘whoever needs me will find me’, and therefore, soulmate clients have had me booked solid for the past couple of years. I have total faith that anyone who falls out of my orbit was not a good match, and is clearing space for another absolute legend.

But it did make me think of something funny. And that is that you should never choose your coach (or your waxer, for that matter) based on them being available on demand. For a few reasons:

    1. 1. An empty calendar is like an empty restaurant. It gives you an idea of the quality of the product being served. The only good reason I can think of that a coach would be freely available at the drop of a hat, is if they’re very new. Now, if you’re right at the start of your personal development journey and any level of support and accountability will make a difference, then by all means, take advantage of the beginner-pricing and rip into it. BUT… if you’re trying to launch a business and you have real money riding on you moving forward quickly… then you need an experienced coach with proven results. And that person isn’t going to jump when you snap your fingers.
  1. 2. We choose coaches and mentors based on whether that person has achieved what we want to achieve, or is succeeding at something you’re still struggling with. Generally, you would pick someone who’s living some version of your ideal life – because they’ve obviously figured out how, and you want to learn. So.. ipso facto.. if the coach is living your ideal life, they won’t be a slave to everyone who sends a msg to their social media accounts. They won’t be prioritizing strangers over their own self care. They won’t be taking whoever they can get as clients; they’ll be choosing people they’re excited about working with to bring projects to life that inspire and excite them. If a busy coach drops everything to prioritize you over sleep, dinner or toilet breaks, they’re not living a life you want. That’s a warning, not a bonus.

So, my point is, choose your people for the right reasons. Learn from someone who’s living a life you want, and succeeding at it, not someone who’s so desperate for your business that they’ll compromise their own boundaries for it.

And for Christ’s sake, choose a waxer who has repeat clientele.

Peace,
Sarah

PS If you do want to talk about what’s possible for you, you can snag one of the few remaining March spots here.

Pebble. Brick. Truck.

Pebble. Brick. Truck.

Pebble. Brick. Truck.

This is something I talk to people about regularly. The way the universe works is ‘jump or be pushed’. I am sheepishly embarrassed to admit I have waited to be pushed far too often in my past, so I don’t take that risk anymore. Because the push is always more brutal than a simple decision would’ve been…

You get little ‘pebbles’ along the journey letting you know something is or isn’t right for you. You get a prod in a certain direction from time to time, and that prod doesn’t always seem rational.

Most people don’t listen to the pebbles. They justify ignoring it by saying things like ‘I don’t know how I would monetize it.’ Or ‘it’s not a smart decision for me right now.’ Or ‘I’ll do it someday, maybe when I have more money or the kids are grown.’

So then you get a brick. There’s relationship strain. Your health is suffering. You haven’t slept through the night in months, maybe over a year. There’s a restructure and you get a drop in pay. But still you choose the safe option of staying with what you know, because you’ve never listened to your intuition before and you don’t realize that it’s trying to move you towards everything you’ve ever wanted.

You struggle on amongst the bricks. Maybe for years. You feel so tired and worn out that your true joys have been reduced to Friday night drinks and other coping mechanisms that take the lid off the pot but don’t do anything to the heat source, threatening to boil it over at any moment.

 

WANNA KNOW WHAT ‘TRUCKS’ HAVE LOOKED LIKE IN MY LIFE?

I lost loving relationships.
I collapsed and went blind in a sales meeting.
I copped a 90min tirade from a subordinate in my corporate job that left me shaken and numb.
I was thrown into a wall by my drug-addicted boyfriend and had to leave the country to be safe.
And most recently? I got a tumour.

I never like to be morbid, but the truth is, we genuinely don’t know how long we’ve got.

I suspect all of you have seen (and largely ignored) the pebbles. Many of you will have taken a few bricks.

Please step out of the way of the oncoming trucks.

All love,
Sarah

Voices In Your Head?

Voices In Your Head?

Many of the people I help come to me to attain goals that have been on the  to-do list for up to twenty years.
TWENTY YEARS.
And most of them can be knocked over in a 12wk contract (my shortest option).
Isn’t that crazy.. That people think of their goals as something that takes years to achieve, massive effort and unrealistic resources… When really, all they needed was the psychological roadblocks dug out, because we take very different actions when we know we CAN and we can finally see all the support and resources available.
 
Let’s get one thing straight:
The voice in your head isn’t you.
 
It’s there to protect you, but it’s not you. And 99% of the information it’s operating off is out of date now.
As a child, you experienced moments of fear, abandonment, disappointment and rejection. They hurt, and your system is wired for survival, so it responds to that hurt fairly intelligently. It asks ‘what do we need to learn here, to ensure this never happens again?’ And it tells you whatever you need to hear to prevent that. Which is awesome…when you’re 5. And probably when you’re 10. And maybe even when you’re 15. But once you’re 30, you’re no longer kept safe by that story, because the threat you were responding to is long gone. Now you’re just restrained. And possibly alone. And likely broke. Because anything that restricts you, also restricts your earning potential.
You put up walls to keep the pain out, but the pain is gone and now nothing, including money, can get past that redundant wall.
 
I know how convincing your stories are – I had a few doozies of my own. When you grow up poor, you have literally decades of ‘evidence’ to prove that money doesn’t come easily. And when someone tells you it can, you understandably feel annoyed, angry, frustrated etc. Because they’ve given you information that conflicts with an existing world view, a world view that was installed to protect you from disappointment. That will cause psychological pain (known as cognitive dissonance) and you will react. (I get told to F off about once a week for this 😉
But that reaction doesn’t mean that money can’t come easily, it’s just brilliant bio-feedback, letting you know that receiving freely isn’t currently part of your identity structure. Brilliant! Now we know where to start 🙂
 
So if the voice in your head isn’t you… Who are you?
 
…The one who is aware of the voice. You are the space behind the voice.
And the real you can become louder than the fear voice; you just need to tweak some of the models of reality that are setting it off, so that it’s less yappy… 😉
 
Interested or curious?

You can apply to grab a virtual coffee with me here:

 
And feel free to throw some of your stories in the comments below…
I’d love to know what you’re currently battling with.
 
Best,
Sarah

How We Do One Thing Is How We Do Everything.

How We Do One Thing Is How We Do Everything.

Have you ever thought about hiring a coach, but held off until you ‘have more money’?

Have you ever met (or followed online) a coach you really want to work with but are waiting until they hopefully have a sale or offer a special deal?

Have you ever wanted to do something for yourself and your own development, but decided you can’t afford it?

Here is something very important that you need to know:

Behaving like the current version of yourself (who ISN’T where s/he wants to be) is a fool-proof way to ensure you stay there.

How you respond to opportunity tells me a lot about your likelihood of success.
If your first response is ‘I can’t afford it’, before you’ve even had a go at trying to figure out HOW… I can tell you your fear patterns are still in the driver’s seat.

If you are 100% committed to your goals, you will achieve them. But being 100% committed requires that you think outside the box, that you don’t go home defeated at the first sign of a challenge, and most importantly, that you MAKE DECISIONS FROM WHERE YOU WANT TO BE, not where you are.

Let’s break that down. What would the million dollar version of you do? What would s/he believe? What would s/he choose?

If you were making a million dollars a year, would you scrimp on your education? On your development? On your associations?

Would the million dollar version of you think that his/her mindset, emotional fitness and psychological roadblocks weren’t important and could be ignored?

No way. Know how I know? All the big players have mentorship. The concept of a self-made man is a fallacy. All successful entrepreneurs know something that broke rookies don’t – and that is that you MUST invest in yourself.

All the hustle and grind in the world has no effect if you’re out of alignment with what you’re trying to receive, and if your nervous system perceives threat from you moving forward. Because all of that is what feels like the ‘handbrake’ – all of that is what has you procrastinating, being paralysed by perfectionism, over-analysing what people think of you and getting distracted by crap on social media.

Our systems are wired for survival, not happiness. Routine and inertia calm the system, which is why it can be hard to make the big leaps. But the only way to train your system to see that massive progress and abundant riches are safe, is to leap before you’re ready and live the truth that success won’t kill you.

Post before you’re sure. Commit before you’re confident. Invest before you’re wealthy. Sign up before you’re ready.

Every single one of us who’s made the leap from the 9-5 to freedom, committed more than we knew how to come up with, because we trusted the process.

If you’re prepared to do anything for your goals and dreams, EXCEPT be temporarily uncomfortable.. Then no, you don’t want them at all.

Don’t tell me you want to help people if you won’t help yourself.
Don’t tell me you want people to invest in you when you won’t invest in yourself. We train people how to treat us!
Don’t tell me you want to make enough money to be secure without working if deep down, you still believe rich people are unscrupulous a55holes.
Don’t tell me you want to work with the best if you don’t wanna pay the best’s rates.
Don’t tell me you trust the universe and are an awesome manifester if you operate from fear all day.
Don’t tell me you’re a coach if you don’t have one. Because real coaches know that coaching is a non-negotiable, and if you’re preaching that to potential clients but not living it, you’re a vibrational disaster and your bank account will reflect that.
Don’t tell me you want to move out of the pain if you’re not brave enough to face it.
Don’t tell me you want people to see your value IF. YOU. WON’T.

How we do one thing is how we do everything.

If your answer to getting help is no, what else are you saying no to, right now?

 

I’d love to hear what you’re going to start saying yes to in the near future – drop it in the  comments.