Does Your Coach Make You Sick?
I am currently using 3 different coaches, for different areas of my life, and on top of that I’m enrolled in a handful of Masterminds, to ensure my vibe and energetic minimums don’t slip back to the comfort and complacency that my ego enjoys. My support is a critical investment, because procrastination, overwhelm and fear cost more than quality mentorship ever could.
And yesterday I had a discovery call with another coach.
I never turn down the opportunity to chat, because I don’t believe in coincidence. If we fall into each other’s orbit, there will be a reason, and I know I can trust my body to make the right decision. If it’s a no, it’s a no, and we’re all professionals here – there’ll be no hard feelings.
BUT… a yes often feels much worse than a no. And since I experienced the most uncomfortable yes of my life yesterday, I thought it would be worth a public post. Because a common misconception I’ve found, is that people think growth and progress looks like skipping through a tulip field while your PayPal notifications ‘bing!’ melodiously.
In reality, it looks like your vagus nerve has been plucked like a guitar string, and you’re wondering if there’s time to exit the Zoom call before you vomit on the screen.
In the discovery call, we discussed some things that need work around attachment theory, complimentary energies, and expansion. Now, all of these things are constantly being worked on, but from different angles and viewpoints. And this particular coach brought a completely new perspective to the mix. One that would require an unprecedented level of bravery and release.
How did I know that this was going to be pivotal input that was worth the investment?
I got sick. I got really sick. We reached the part of the discussion where it was time to choose between moving forward or falling back into what I knew, and my entire survival system went haywire. I had a vagal response, my head was aching, I was dizzy and I needed to breathe through some fairly intense nausea.
And here’s why that was the best thing EVER:
I was not under threat. There were no tigers in my office at that time. No murderers at the door, no building on fire.
And yet my system responded as though we were gunna die. Which means someone is… and it’s not me.
So who was it?
Short answer: my story. My current understanding of who I am and what I’m capable of.
Our identities are made up of our survival meanings, our coping mechanisms and our experiences. It incorporates our models of reality, our emotional homes and our value and belief systems. As far as the nervous system is concerned, a threat to your identity is a threat to your life. This is why it’s so uncomfortable to have your perceptions about what’s possible rejected or corrected.
Case in point: If you’ve struggled with money your whole life, how much do you enjoy someone telling you that money is everywhere and super easy to receive, even without work?
I bet some part of you wants to punt that person into the next neighbourhood.
Well, imagine that response on steroids. Imagine someone simultaneously questioned EVERYTHING about you and your world.
That’s what I experienced, and that’s why I needed to say yes.
Not in the moment, mind. In the moment I couldn’t tell if I needed to cry or find a bathroom. So I went and had the fit, and then I reached out again to confirm the contract.
Your new life will cost you your old one. When you’re standing at the edge, and it’s time to drop the old weight that will enable you to climb to the next level, do you hold on to what you know? Or release and climb?
Our decisions in these moments shape our future. Drop me a comment and tell me what kind of decisions you’re making in 2019. J