So, here’s a thing many people don’t realize until I point it out.
Coaches have you on a video call so that we can monitor physiological congruence and check that your micro-expressions confirm what you’re telling us.
Being deception-trained isn’t there to ‘catch you out’, it’s for us to make sure we don’t miss anything you may need to express or confront.
The most fun tells for me are contempt and disgust, because it helps me find your shadow long before we start doing shadow-work. A head-start in that space is phenomenal for speed of change.
But I’m starting to think the most healing for the client is catching unexpressed anger.
And here’s why.
People simply don’t realize how mad their system is that they keep throwing themselves under the bus.
That ‘yes’ that should’ve been a ‘no’?
Cancelling that thing you wanted, to do something for someone else?
That compromise you shouldn’t have had to make?
That ‘I can’t’ that should’ve been an ‘I’ll find a way?’
That box of wine that should’ve been a gym session?
That ‘I’ll finish it this week’ that should’ve been a ‘that’s not my job’.
Self-betrayal is so much more damaging than any amount of crankiness you can get from other people. Your system is screaming at you but you’re too busy chasing other people down to find out how else you could help them.
If I could put one thing on a global billboard today it would be this:
WE TRAIN PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US;
STOP FORSAKING YOURSELF.
Stop using other people’s dramas to distract yourself from what you know you need.
Stop saying yes to 5hit you don’t wanna do.
Stop forcing greasy plasticky BS down your neck when your body is screaming for nutrition.
Stop putting yourself LAST all the time.
And stop telling yourself you’re not angry when you’re ducking furious that you pushed aside your own needs AGAIN.
If you need help processing or practicing, I’m right here: www.sarahreillycoaching.com